Goodbye

I never learn. No matter how many times I get by heart broken, I still give everything and anything into a relationship. I gave my all to you Love. I already pictured myself spending the rest of my life with you. It breaks my heart to think that I will never see that dream become a reality.

I’m tired Love, I’m tired. I learned that no matter how great your love is for a person, your heart quits when it becomes tired. Some people may think that if you become tired, that means you did not love the other person enough. Maybe. Maybe not. I know that my heart still yearns for you. But it feels like no matter how hard you try, your heart knows that this is it: I cannot give no more. It is like trying to hold your breath so that you can still feel the calmness and peace of being underwater but your lungs yearn for air, and no matter what you do, you body will try to breath even if it will mean the death of you.

I feel no regret for I have given my all. I do not look at what happened as a waste of time for I have learned a lot. I have learned up to what extent my patience can be tested. I learned that loving with all your heart is not enough. I learned that loving and sacrificing do not always go hand in hand.

I deserve better you said. You are right. I know how to love and I deserve to be loved in return. I wish the same for you. 

I promise

·                  I will kiss you everyday before I go to work.
·      I will kiss you before I go to sleep.
·      I will kiss you even if you are asleep but will make sure not to wake you up because I know it’s hard for you to fall back to it.
·      I will try to learn to be good in cooking so that you have something to look forward to when you get home.
·      I will do my best to keep the place tidy.
·      I will not get drunk when I’m with you so I can still walk you home.
·      I will make you feel missed and loved.
·      I will try not to do things that will make you sad.
·      I will send you flowers even if there is no occasion just to make you think of me.
·      I will try not to smell too stinky.
·      I will work out to stay healthy.
·      I will laugh at your corniest jokes.
·      I will try to be home as soon as I can.
·      Or I will make sure to always let you know where I am.
·      To greet you on the midnight of your birthday.
·      I will hug you all the time.
·      And discover new things to make your worse day fine.
·      Remind you how beautiful you are.
·      Of how I love staring at your face.
·      Of how your smile relieves all the stress of the day.
·      I will light candles and put some slow music on when you are tired.
·      To try and learn Thai massage.
·      To iron the shirt you will use the next morning.
·      And cook breakfast that should keep you going.
·      That we will visit your folks as much as we can
·      To not argue with you when you are mad.
·      To include you in my prayers and wishes.
·      To give you space when you need one.
·      To be goofy when you need a laugh.
·      I will give you all the pillows on the bed when you are sore.
·      To remind you of all the things in you I adore.

Love letter

I love you. I don’t know how I learned to love you in a short span of time. I pray for you, I think about you all the time. I would want you to be safe and happy at all times. Today I dreamt that I was telling my mother that I am in a relationship with a woman, and she was mildly upset but still accepted me. I want you to know that I am willing to do that should the need arises. I cannot promise that you will never be upset with me or there will never be a time you would want to leave me. But I promise you that at the end of the day, you can rely on the fact that my love for you is real. You can count on me to look after you and treat you as my better half.

But then again, if you are not ready for my love, if you think that we are going too fast and this is just not right, I can let you be. Hard as it may seem, I am in no position to force you into something where you’d feel trapped. If I do not make you feel happy and loved, then I will set you free so that you can find that person that will make you feel the kind of love I feel for you now. That person that makes you thank God for still waking you up so you could still stare at her face. That person that makes your day with a single smile and can also ruin the same with a simple frown. That person that makes you see things differently. That one that makes you ask yourself what good have you done to deserve someone like her. You are that person to me Mel and I wish for you to stay that way. It’s all up to you now. Ball is on you court.